God and Donor Eggs

Over the past couple weeks since we made the decision to go ahead with donor eggs I have been having a hard time dealing with this at church. The funny thing about this is everyone I have talked to at church has been very very supportive. As I told one of my friends at church, "I feel like this the most judgemental part of my life." My fear is being judged by the congregation and having them think that I am committing a sin to bring a baby into this world. I am probably overreacting but who knows. I know in the catholic religion that any ART procedure is look down upon. With donor egg I am at the extreme end of ART procedures. How will my brothers and sisters in Christ react to this?

For the second time at church I opened up to someone and was talking to them about this. I was telling her that I feel 100% comfortable with my decision to use donor egg but I just feel so uneasy at church. Why at church? I guess this stems from a religious support board I was posting on for a little while. At that point I was looking to grow the connection between God and myself through this infertility process. I was searching for women like myself dealing with this who had a strong faith in God.

During the summer I attended a fertility retreat about using acupuncture, meditation, herbs, yoga, and other changes to help concieve a child. These are all things I have used to help my body. While I was there NBC and the Today Show did a short little segment on it and I was very excited to participate. I have almost always been open about my infertility so why not share it with everyone.

Well I posted the link to the show on this support board and I was amazed by the negative response I got to the use of acupuncture and yoga. Yes I know they are principles based on budism. The thing is while I am using these techniques I am not worshipping budda but I am using them to help assist with the process. I got a lot of hateful messages about how I was going to hell because of these things. The funniest thing about it is our god is a forgiving god. Also who wouldn't offer these options to us if they weren't helpful. I was losing my mind dealing with my infertility before I discover acupuncture. All my emotions were stuck inside held in.

Back to my congergation, I believe that experience has scared me to feel comfortable sharing my infertility with them. Some might think I don't deserve my own children or that I should adopt. They also might think why go to such extremes. I was thinking about this as I sat in church. God made science and I am going to use it, whether people agree with my decision or not. My husband and I are the ones that need to be comfortable with donor eggs not the rest of the world.

In some ways this answers my questions I have been having about who to tell and who not to tell. At this moment I am firmer in my decision to be open and honest with everyone about donor eggs. We all have a purpose and living through infertility is one of my purposes. Well not just living through it but living through it and sharing with others. Infertility is a rollercoaster and it is harder to deal on your own. Then donor egg is a whole extra bag. I would like someone to come talk to me and ask me about this whole process.

Update on our process: Right now we are in a waiting pattern. DH and I have finished all of our tests needed to get our donor password. We are just waiting for my DE RN to get all the information and then give us the password. It looks like we might have to wait awhile to start a cycle. We are sharing the eggs with 2 other people so we have to wait for them to sign on with our donor before we proceed with a cycle. At this point I am hoping for July. Then happy birthday to me in August to FINALLY be pregnant.