Another Failed IVF onto Donor Eggs

Well, I feel like a blogger slacker right now. At least I have the excuse that I was going through another IVF. In January we did our second IVF with a totally different protocol and things were looking pretty good. They retrieved 6 eggs and 2 of them fertilized. Egg transfer was actually an ordeal because the RE that did it told me that I should wait and see what happens to them. He also told me that if I did get pregnant with these eggs that most likely I would have a miscarriages. WHAT AN ASS!!! He also reminded me of the fact that I am 28 and my eggs shouldn't be doing this. Well duh, I know that already otherwise I wouldn't be doing IVF right now. I would be a home taking care of my baby and be pregnant with my second by now.

Monday Feb 9th we got the news that it didn't work. Luckily we had a plan so it wasn't as bad as last time. After we got the news I knew I didn't want to go through that again with my eggs and made the decision that it was time to move onto donor eggs. I was getting excited again and made phone calls to get the ball rolling. I talked to my RE and he guaranteed me that this way I would get pregnant. There are few negatives about donor egg: 1. it isn't me 2. it is really expensive 3. insurance doesn't pay for it and 4. I feel like a failure.

We have come to terms with 1-3 but the feelings of a failure as a women are becoming stronger. I feel like we need to get moving with this faster so that the hole in my heart doesn't get any bigger. I am sure once I had my baby in my arms it wouldn't matter to me anymore how we got this baby. I am so ready....now making sure we can pay for it.

How is it fair that we have to go into debt to have a baby when other people just have to look at each other and get pregnant?

AF already!!!

Yesterday I emailed my herbist about my low luteal phase temps. I was so positive that ovulation happened around day 14, right on time. Just a few days later my temp dropped a little bit, she thinks that the corpus luteam did fully develop. In other words it was a bad egg. So since it was a bad egg my body didn't produce the progesterone it needed to support a full luteal phase. Well this morning I took my temp and it dropped a bunch. When your temp drops like that it usually means one of two things (ovulation or AF). I was hoping it was ovulation. Well, I got to work and I found a big surprise, that I was completely unprepared for. This has been sooooo frustrating. This is the 3rd weird cycle in a row 24, 60, and 18 day cycles. What the heck is going on? So I talked to my herbist on the phone and she suggested that I get my day 3 blood work and ultra sound done. Called my RN in charge of me and asked to get blood work and ultra sound done. She gave me the go ahead!!! So it looks like Thursday getting everything checked again. I am a little afraid that my FSH is going to be high again. It hasn't been high since my second set of day 3 b/w and u/s. Please god let everything be normal!!!