Another Failed IVF onto Donor Eggs

Well, I feel like a blogger slacker right now. At least I have the excuse that I was going through another IVF. In January we did our second IVF with a totally different protocol and things were looking pretty good. They retrieved 6 eggs and 2 of them fertilized. Egg transfer was actually an ordeal because the RE that did it told me that I should wait and see what happens to them. He also told me that if I did get pregnant with these eggs that most likely I would have a miscarriages. WHAT AN ASS!!! He also reminded me of the fact that I am 28 and my eggs shouldn't be doing this. Well duh, I know that already otherwise I wouldn't be doing IVF right now. I would be a home taking care of my baby and be pregnant with my second by now.

Monday Feb 9th we got the news that it didn't work. Luckily we had a plan so it wasn't as bad as last time. After we got the news I knew I didn't want to go through that again with my eggs and made the decision that it was time to move onto donor eggs. I was getting excited again and made phone calls to get the ball rolling. I talked to my RE and he guaranteed me that this way I would get pregnant. There are few negatives about donor egg: 1. it isn't me 2. it is really expensive 3. insurance doesn't pay for it and 4. I feel like a failure.

We have come to terms with 1-3 but the feelings of a failure as a women are becoming stronger. I feel like we need to get moving with this faster so that the hole in my heart doesn't get any bigger. I am sure once I had my baby in my arms it wouldn't matter to me anymore how we got this baby. I am so ready....now making sure we can pay for it.

How is it fair that we have to go into debt to have a baby when other people just have to look at each other and get pregnant?